Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
