I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
