shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
