some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
