What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
