If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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