Me. At least after what I've been through.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
