be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He felt like a one man threesome
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
