So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
