my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
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