My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
