Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
