Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
