i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize