I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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