god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
