last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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