the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
