i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
