That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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