I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
