then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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