He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
