Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
