I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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