2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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