You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
