dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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