hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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