Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
