I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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