idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
