I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
