she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you would pick up someone in the library
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
