either way he was missing a nipple.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
