Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
