my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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