exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
