so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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