So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
