It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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