walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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