You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
