my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
