Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize