I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
