he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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