I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
