Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
