Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
