Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize