Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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