wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's blow job season.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
