whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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