Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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