its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
