FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
