I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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