im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize