What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
