For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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