garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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