I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
